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Feb
23
2009

Memento Mori 的一段 quote

桂花姊姊的翻譯:

我第一回感覺時間像心跳,秒數像最後審判一樣唧進我的胸部。

過去似乎如此遙遠,且虛幻的難解之謎,已並非於年少時,而是在時光流逝中,沈思的真相威脅著清晰。

我感覺到這些字就像其意義,是我卸下的重擔。知道在我無法信任別人時,你會讀到它並為我分憂。

知道你會了解我的內心,注視它,並在我心中發現屬於你…..就是你的回憶與經歷,對我來說是一種慰藉。在繼續於不久前展開的旅程時,感到繫 繩鬆脫、前途黑暗。

該旅程因你的堅持而再度展開,若非如此,我也許不會這麼堅強的面對你,看著你壯志未酬,並希望你原諒我,不陪你走完剩下的路……

從很久以前看第四季X檔案時,就覺得這段Scully的獨白很有味道(那個年紀只要看不懂的東西都馬很有味道,存在主義,尼采,村上春樹)。只是過了好久,再挖出來看看,我依然看不懂!真是完全沒有長進。以前高中仗著自己有看一些英文程式書和網站,雖然文法單字錯很多,考試的閱讀測驗總是全對,就覺得自己很了不起。殊不知寫程式的書往往用最淺白易懂的語句寫的,到了大眾文化的美式影集,我完全沒辦法按照文法分析那些長句子在講什麼。更何況是文學領域。

For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat, the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning; the numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in its passage.

I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other.

That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago, and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions.

If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the journey with you.

 
 

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